


What you don’t know SongFic

by ReignMyWorld



Series: Monrose SongFic Series [1]
Category: Joe Anoa'i - Fandom, Roman Reigns - Fandom, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Roman Reigns Fluff, Songfic, monrose songfic, monrose songfic series, roman reigns angst, songfic series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 02:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17316500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReignMyWorld/pseuds/ReignMyWorld
Summary: You and Joe had been best friends ever since college, being able to tell each other everything. This, however, changed when he started avoiding you after you had told him that you plan on marrying your boyfriend. You tried to figure out where this sudden change came from, but it was only when Joe appeared in your apartment one day, that you learn the truth.





	What you don’t know SongFic

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: a little bit of angst and fluff
> 
> Pairing: Joe Anoa’i x Reader
> 
> Note: This is Part 1 of the Monrose SongFic Series
> 
> Originally published here: https://reignmyworld.tumblr.com/post/172461551976/what-you-dont-know-songfic-roman-reigns-x-reader
> 
> Monrose - What you don’t know
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6kXX0Qt6QI

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that your scars are beautiful_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is your imperfections are what make me whole_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is how I spiral down_**  
**_Cause I can’t speak whenever you’re around_**

**_And it’s not like me to hide behind a wall_**  
**_And it’s not like me to fear the fall_**

You sighed as you were turning the page of the book you were reading, trying to hold back your thoughts from returning to your best friend. Things between the both of you had changed, you were quite aware of that but you couldn’t tell, what exactly was the reason for that. Joe and you had been pretty close ever since you visited college together and it was back then when he became your best friend. You didn’t have any secrets from each other and you knew that you could call him in the middle of the night if you needed someone to talk and vice versa. You were happy for him when he started dating his later wife and you shared his excitement when he told you that he would become a father. And you were there when he chased his dream of being a professional wrestler as well as when he was able to finally fulfill it as he signed with WWE, first with NXT only to be moved to the main roster shortly after. There was only one thing that you didn’t tell him, that you couldn’t tell him to be more precise, and that was that your feelings ran deeper than just on the best friend level. Of course that was something you would have never shared with him, knowing how happy he was with the life he was living.

So the best way for you was to keep your feelings to yourself, rather having him as your best friend only, than scaring him away by letting him know about it and maybe losing him for good. That was not always easy of course but you thought that you managed to do so quite well - at least you hadn’t the impression that he had noticed. But that might have changed. You were reminiscing your actions and your words towards him, trying to figure out whether you did or said something that could have given your real feelings away. But no matter how hard you tried to remember, you just couldn’t come up with a suitable solution. It was just from one moment to the next - or so it seemed to you at least - that he became somehow distant. As you knew him so damn well, you sensed it right away. He was less relaxed in your presence, you could tell that he wasn’t sharing everything with you anymore like he had before. He didn’t answer to your texts right away, which was absolutely uncommon for him and you had the impression that he somehow avoided you, not only by not opening up to you anymore but also by not asking you how your relationship was going and so on. 

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that I lay awake_**  
**_Wishing you were here tonight_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that I loved you long before we were alive_**  
**_Cause how would you know, how could you know_**  
**_So now I’m gonna tell you everything_**

If you thought about that in more detail, it wasn’t really from one moment to the next. It was that evening a couple weeks ago, where you were sitting on the porch next to him during a house party of one of your friends, gazing up at the stars and having one of your deeper conversations. It was then when you told him that you and your boyfriend were talking about getting married, about moving to another state due to his job and you wanted to have his input on that topic. You couldn’t tell right away what was wrong with him but you realized that he got more and more quiet the more you told him, only to let you know that you should marry him if he makes you happy. Little did he know that your boyfriend would never be able to do that - although he was a great guy. But your heart simply didn’t belong to him. It was from that moment on that Joe started to drift away from you and you had absolutely no idea why.

Of course you had a few drinks that evening but you were 100% positive that you haven’t told Joe that he meant more to you than he should as your best friend. You have tried to figure out what was bothering him but whenever you brought that topic up, he would give you another excuse along the lines of “I’m sorry but I’m too busy at work”, “Sorry I can’t talk, I’m running late to drop the kid off” or simply “No offense but I’m too tired to even keep my eyes open” and whenever you would ask him in person, he would just change the topic. It pained you to realize that your best friend was slowly drifting away, knowing that there was nothing you could do against it as he locked you out, not letting you know what was bothering him. And the truth was, that you were too tired to ask him and try to keeping him close. You always thought that you knew him to the core, that you actually knew him better than his own wife, but by now you had to admit that he had managed to become a stranger in front of your own eyes and that did hurt more than you could tell, especially not knowing the reason behind it. You tried to concentrate on your book but after having read the same sentence for the tenth time and still not grasping what was standing there, you closed your book with an annoyed groan. “Perfect just perfect. How about you try to stop your self-pity for at least a few moments?”, you scolded yourself as you got up in order to brew some coffee.

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_I have studied the way you walk_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is I’ve already kissed you in the shadows of my heart_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that you’re poetry_**  
**_If you turn around there’s someone you won’t see_**

**_And it’s not like me to hide behind a wall_ **

As you were waiting for the water to boil, the phone suddenly rang and in the first moment your hope sparked that it would be Joe, being his old self again. You felt slightly guilty as you felt disappointment washing over you the first second you heard your boyfriend’s voice. He wanted to tell you that he had landed safely in the first town of his business trip and that he was already missing you. You told him the same - of course you did, but the truth was that you didn’t really share his feelings. He was a top guy, funny, well-mannered, hard-working and you knew how unfair it was, but he simply was not your best friend. You counted the seconds until it was polite enough to end the call because you just had not the energy to continue your small talk, especially since he wanted to talk about the topic of marriage again. You didn’t feel like sharing a future with him anyway, but you just hadn’t the guts to tell him yet.

You took another deep breath as you grabbed your coffee, putting some sugar and milk in it and stirring it, completely trapped in your thoughts. The ringing of the doorbell made you snap out of your thoughts. You weren’t awaiting any visitors or parcels but you assumed that it could be one of your neighbors, asking for some ingredients like it had happened for quite some time in the past. To say that you were surprised when you were opening the door would be a slight understatement. You almost dropped your mug when you saw Joe standing there. It wouldn’t have surprised you in the past but nowadays, with him avoiding you the best he could, it absolutely took you off guard seeing him standing there. “Joe what are you doing here?”, you wanted to know, your voice full of surprise. He just stared at you without saying a word and you couldn’t help but turn slightly nervous under his intense glare. It was not that you were afraid of him, since he was basically the most peaceful guy outside of the ring that you have ever met, but if you wouldn’t have known this, you would have had no problem believing that he could snap you in half right away. “Are you okay?”, you tried your luck again, but he preferred to further stare down at you instead of saying a word. You searched for an answer in his face but the only expression you found there was the one he often had in the ring, as he was awaiting his opponents.

Just as you really started to worry about him, he started moving, making you take a step back into your apartment until he stood inside of it as well, closing the door behind him, not looking away from you the entire time. He reached out for your mug and took it from your hand before he placed it on the sideboard next to you. “What the hell is going on? Seriously Joe, I know that you wouldn’t hurt a fly but you kind of scare me by not saying a word and looking at me as if you were the big bad wolf waiting to eat your prey.”, you got out before you heard him mumble: “That’s a pretty fitting metaphor.” Before you could ask him to explain what he meant, he took another step towards you and with one swift move he grabbed your waist, spinning you around and trapping you between his body and the door. You were way too surprised to react and with one last fierce look, he leaned down to you, crashing his lips onto yours. You didn’t even think about pushing him away, although everything in you screamed to do so. But instead you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him even closer, deepening the kiss by returning it with the same passion he directed to you. You knew that it was wrong for various reasons but yet it felt so right at the same time.

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_is that I lay awake_**  
**_Wishing you were here tonight_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that I loved you long before we were alive_**  
**_Cause how would you know, how could you know_**  
**_So now I’m gonna tell you everything_**

As soon as he broke the kiss, Joe locked eyes with you, gently stroking your cheek as he said with insistence: “You can’t move into another state and you sure as hell can’t marry him. Promise me that.” You were beyond confused as to what just happened and was still happening, hence why you wanted to know: “Can you please tell me what is going on? You are my best friend, but no matter how close we were, you out of nowhere decided to ignore and avoid me for the last weeks. You don’t answer my questions and if I get the chance to talk to you, you cut me off with a lame ass excuse. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, you appear here, press me against the door, kiss me like you were my secret lover and as if your life depended on it and want me to promise you that I won’t marry my boyfriend. No offense, but I think that I deserve an explanation and a very good one that is.” He listened closely to what you had to say, slightly nodding his head, his deep voice muttering: “You’re damn right that you do. I owe you one and I know that. And I certainly will give you one, but first I want you to promise me that you won’t marry him.”

“Joe, I…”, you started, only to be interrupted by him right away as he moved closer to you, pinning you with his whole body against the door even more, as he whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine: “No baby girl, I want you to promise me right here and now that you won’t marry him. And then I will give you any explanation you could ask for.” You had no idea why he would demand that but since you didn’t feel like marrying him anyway, it was no big deal to say it out loud: “Fine, I promise you not to marry him and not to move away. But I want an explanation for all of this now.” You were still too shocked to make sense out of everything that was happening while his fingertips were still caressing your cheek, trailing softly over your jawline, his eyes showing an emotion that you were not really able to name. He took his time before he answered: “Because I couldn’t stand it, that’s why.”

As much as you loved the soft touch of his fingers on your skin, your anger started boiling nevertheless. It still didn’t make any sense and all you asked for was a simple explanation why your best friend, that was married to a beautiful wife with whom he had an even more beautiful daughter, stormed into your apartment, kissing you like there was no tomorrow, demanding that you would skip on any potential wedding plans. You slapped his hand away and freed yourself from him, before you grabbed your mug and headed into your living room, being absolutely aware that he was following you. As you turned around, you glared up at him and demanded: “You really think that this will do it? "I couldn’t stand it”? What kind of explanation is that? It does not explain even a single bit. It doesn’t explain you avoiding me, it doesn’t explain you appearing here out off nowhere, it doesn’t explain you kissing me while your wife is sitting at home. It does not explain shit. Once again… I want to know what is going on. I want to know what all this is about. And quite frankly I want to know all of this right now.“

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_What you don’t know_**

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is when the moon and the sun collide_**  
**_The morning comes_**  
**_this time I won’t be afraid to try_**

Joe was looking at, trying to find the right words. It took him a couple of seconds before he said: "You want to know what all this is about? For fuck’s sake Y/N, I love you. That is what all this is about. And it’s not a feeling I have just developed within the last couple of months but I fell for you pretty soon after we met each other in college. You were still with your ex back then and you seemed to be so happy with him. I didn’t dare to tell you how I was feeling as I didn’t want to scare you away, to lose you as my best friend. And when I met Galina, well I was attracted to her, by far not as much as I was attracted to you, but I thought that I would give it a try, I thought that I could lessen my feelings for you that way, thought I could avoid you being the last thing on my mind when I fell asleep and the first thing on my mind when I woke up. Needless to say that I failed. And when you were crying on my shoulder after your ex had cheated on you, I wanted to rip his heart out for causing you so much pain. And I thought that maybe I should try it, maybe I should just tell you how I was feeling for you but I didn’t want to bother you that day. As you had calmed, I really wanted to tell you some time within the next days, wanted you to know that I loved you. But it seemed as if fate had an odd sense of humor as Gee was telling me exactly then that she was pregnant with my kid. And I just couldn’t leave her and the baby. I couldn’t, that was not how I had been raised. But it killed me a little bit on the inside. I mean sure I was overwhelmed with joy knowing that I would become a father but at the same time I wished that it would have been you telling me this. Well and the rest from that point on is well known history. I stayed with Galina, raising our daughter with her, trying to somehow bottle my feelings up for you, so I could still have you as my best friend. I don’t even want to count the daydreams, where I pictured you on my side. When you got to know your boyfriend, I wanted to scare him right away, but you seemed to be happy, so I just swallowed that bitter pill and tried to adjust to that situation. But when you told me that you thought about getting married, I… well I just couldn’t take it. It was too much to handle. I went through all of those years hiding what I was feeling for you, but hearing that you were thinking of spending the rest of your life with this guy… I just had to get away. I didn’t want to ruin it for you, I certainly didn’t. And I know that I’m putting my own family at risk and I’m really sorry for that. But I just couldn’t let it happen without trying. I have loved you from the moment you said hello and I’m just tired of fighting against my own feelings. If I have damaged everything between us now, it would hurt. But it would hurt even more not having tried in the first place. So long story short: This is what it is all about, it is about me loving you and not being able to stand the thought of losing you to another guy.”

You looked at him in shock, you were absolutely speechless. You had no idea how often you had dreamt about hearing those words from him and now that he had confessed all of that, you noticed that it could have been you saying all of it to Joe instead, as it completely mirrored your own feelings. You simply could not believe that he would feel the same for you like you felt for him. You stared at him, way too overwhelmed to say a word. “Say something, just anything”, he plead, fearing that he might have destroyed anything that had been there between the both of your before. Instead of saying anything, you stepped nearer, looking up into his eyes, your own reflecting all of the love and affection you were feeling for him, before you gently pulled his head down, kissing him with all the love you were feeling for him while he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, replying immediately.

**_What you don’t know_**  
**_is that I lay awake_**  
**_Wishing you were here tonight_**  
**_What you don’t know_**  
**_Is that I loved you long before we were alive_**  
**_Cause how would you know, how could you know_**  
**_So now I’m gonna tell you everything_**

**_What you don’t know_ **

As you broke apart you smiled up at him, whispering: “I thought I was the only one who felt like that.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the puzzled expression on his face as he mumbled: “What?” You gently cupped his cheek, saying: “Joe, I have fallen for you that moment our paths crossed for the first time. But as you said, I was in a relationship back then and breaking up as a result of a crush was something I couldn’t do. And back then I thought that this was all it actually was. When we grew so close and you told me that you were dating Gee my world crushed a little bit, even more so when you let me know that you would have a baby. I had decided back there and then to bottle up everything I was feeling for you for the rest of my life because I just couldn’t let you know. If I knew that you were feeling the same… well I would have had the courage to tell you. To be honest, I never even wanted to marry him but I thought I would give it a try. You know, going away, starting anew, and hoping that my feelings for you would decrease at least a little bit.” You could see all of the different emotions running over his face as he processed what you had just confessed. With a huge smile he placed another soft kiss on your lips as he wanted to know: “So that means that it could have been us the whole time if we just had the courage to wear our hearts on our sleeves.”

“That sounds way too cheesy for your own good, but yes, I guess that’s exactly what it means.” , you smiled before your face took on a sad expression. Joe noticed as well hence why he carefully lifted your chin and locked eyes with yours before he asked: “What is it baby girl?” You gave him a sad smile, whispering: “I’m just sad that now, when we know about our feelings for each other, it’s too late.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Joe, you know exactly what I mean. You are married to a beautiful wife and you have an even more beautiful child. There is no space for you and me.”, you whispered with him pulling you closer as he said: “I’m figuring something out, I promise you. But there is one thing I know. I just can’t go on with hiding my feelings for you. I tried for more than a decade and I failed miserably. I’m just asking you for one thing. Give me a chance and I promise you that I will make it work somehow. Will you?”

You peeked up at him and saw all of the love he felt for you mirrored in his eyes. And you knew that it was the same deep love that you felt for him, hence why you slowly nodded your head, pushing every tiny bit of bad conscience aside and whispering: “I’m certainly willing to try because you’re all I ever wanted and needed in my life.” With that you pulled him down and kissed him gently, hoping that everything would turn out for the best somehow.


End file.
